What Pac-10 fan or recruit wouldn't want to visit here??

A story hit the AP wire today about the Pac-10 conference considering expansion. Commissioner Larry Scott said the "window is open" and they're giving serious thought to adding 2 new teams to the Pac-10. One report is suggesting that the teams they're giving careful consideration to include the Utah Utes and, brace yourself, the COLORADO BUFFALOES! That's right...my alma mater has a chance of joining the Pacific 10 Conference. This would be a dream come true for west coast Buff fans.

First of all, the Buffs have clearly slipped to the bottom of the Big 12 conference. On the gridiron, we routinely get our asses kicked by teams like Texas, Oklahoma, and Nebraska...and I don't even need to mention what happens when our hoops team squares off against the Jayhawks or the Cowboys of Stillwater. It's an absolute mismatch.

Moving to the Pac 10 would allow the Buffs to rebuild their programs by competing on a more even keel with the very mediocre schools from the Pac 10 Conference. After traveling to places like Austin, Norman, and Lincoln...the Buffs would welcome the site of the airstrip as their plane touches down in places like Pullman, Seattle, Tempe, and LA. The Buffs could win 5 games in conference in their first year in the Pac 10, a feat that they can't come close to in the brutal Big 12.

I may sound like a west coast homer, but there are many other reasons why I would support this move. First of all, we have a TERRIFIC fan base all over the west coast. When I was in school, 25% of the student body came from California, and there were thousands more from Arizona, Oregon, and Washington. Buffs fans live in places like SF and LA, and not in places like Oklahoma, Missouri, and Texas. You would see a huge increase in the fan base and alumni presence when the Buffs have road games in Palo Alto, Berkeley, Westwood. There are huge contingents of alumni in cities within driving distance of all the cities on the Pac-10 schedule, and this will be very apparent when the Buffs square off with the Cal Bears in September of this season. You don't see that happen at road games vs. Baylor.

From a recruiting standpoint, the move makes perfect sense. If you look at the Buffs roster, more than half of the players hail from either Colorado itself, or the states in the Pac-10 conference. We play against teams like Texas and Oklahoma, but we have absolutely no chance of recruiting there. Playing in the Pac-10 would allow Coach Hawk (or whoever replaces him) to recruit in our own backyard. We'd have road games on TV every weekend. These kids grow up watching USC, Oregon, and Cal...and now they're watching them play the Buffs! Get them on an official recruiting trip to Boulder, and it's a done deal. There isn't a campus in the Pac-1o that holds a candle to CU. Currently, over 60% of CU's out of state recruits come from states west of Colorado. Sure, we might lose a couple of players from Texas and Florida (we have like 4), but we'd vastly improve our presence in the West Coast recruiting game. These new recruits could enroll at the most beautiful campus in the country, play their home games at Folsom Field, and their families could still watch them play their road in places like Berkeley, Palo Alto, Tuscon, Eugene, and Southern California. From a recruiting standpoint, it just makes perfect sense.

Granted, there will be some fans east of Boulder who will be disappointed with the move, but the vast majority of Buff fans are out here on the left coast, and ultimately the move would be good for every Buff backer in the country. The Pac-10 would be well served adding the Buffs to their conference, and the addition of Utah will make it an even 12. That will allow the Pac-10 to have a Conference Championship game...and change the conference name to the Pac-12. Actually, come to think of it, make it the 12-Pack!

GO BUFFS!!!

Well, I've officially been stripped of my testicles. I've been a card-carrying member of the MALE GENDER for 33 years, but after this latest stunt, I've had my nuts revoked, been given a two-piece bathing suit, and initiated into my new sorority of sisterhood. How, you may ask? Well let me explain....

Bear is getting the VIP treatment this week.

My wife and I are headed to Lake Tahoe for the weekend, and the condo we're staying at doesn't allow pets. But rather than have our 2-year-old black Lab Bear tough it out at our empty house by himself all weekend, we will be checking Bear into a HOTEL FOR DOGS.

Yes, that's right. Not only will I be paying for a condo in Tahoe for my wife and I this weekend, but I'll also be paying for accomodations for my dog at a luxury dog kennel on River Road called the Oxton Kennels at Wild Things Resort & Spa. This fact alone would earn me an unpaid suspension for violating the Man Code, but it's the details that got me expelled from the gender permantly.

First off, at the insistence of my wife, we're renting our precious Bear an "Executive Suite" for the weekend. Some of the amenities of the Rin Tin Tin Suite include a 54 sq. foot suite complete with a plush bed, a television (which they keep tuned to Animal Planet), room service meals, a yappy hour (whatever the hell that is), and several professional walks each day. Oh, but it doesn't stop there. With a little extra charge, Bear will be treated to a private 15 minute "Belly Scratch" ($10), a Paw-di-Cure ($12), and a professional grooming. He'll be under round-the-clock care and a doggie attendent will be at the ready at all times.

But just in case that isn't enough to make my wife comfortable, fear not! For shelling out for the Executive Suite, we will be given a username and password that will enable us to log on and view the live webcam in Bear's room! Yes, that's right. From our condo in Tahoe we'll be able to log on to our laptop and watch our dog scratch and lick himself in the comfort of his doggie hotel room! Phew...now I think we can finally relax and have some fun! I can't wait to get done skiing and hurry back to the condo to watch our dog take a nap 300 miles away!

Now, I explained to the folks at the kennel that although we appreciate their efforts...Bear is used to the VIP treatment at home, so I'm going to need them to step it up a notch. For instance, although their policy is to leave the in-room TV on Animal Planet 24-hours a day, Bear happens to be more of an ESPN fan, so I'm going to need them to give him the remote. He prefers hi-def as well, so we've set him up with a 1080 pixel Vizio (his favorite).

The belly-rub is nice, but we've arranged for a full facial and massage package (of course I ponied up for the happy ending). As for the food, I've instructed the on-site chef that Bear likes his steak medium rare and he likes his potatoes twice-baked. The bed is nice, but a little small, and he prefers foam pillows to feather. We're having the linens flown in from a quilt maker in Switzerland.

He likes a glass of Scotch right before he hops in the sack. It will help him get in the mood for some female companionship. Like his Dad, Bear is a sucker for blondes, so I've got him set up with a conjugal visit from a slutty little Border Collie three kennels down from him. Rumor has it she likes it doggie style, and so does Bear. Of course, this encounter will all be recorded on the webcam, so Bear and I will be able to break down the film later and I can critique him on his form and stamina. He's growing up so fast.

I'll make sure and let you all how it goes when we get back. Thanks again for reading.

Allow me to introduce you to the #1 rated high school football prospect in the country. He hails from St. Paul, Minnesota, stands 6 foot 8, weighs 338 pounds, and has scholarship offers from the biggest and baddest schools in college football. From the looks of him, he could open a hole big enough for Oprah to run through, and could intimidate even the meanest of defensive lineman. He is virtually guaranteed to be a dominant force in the NFL in a few years, and be a symbol of what an NFL lineman is supposed to look like.

But there's one problem...his name is Seantrel. Yes, that's right. SHAWN-TRELLE. This behemoth of a man who is going to make a living hurting other people has a name that invokes visions of a cross-dresser on Bourbon street. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, out of the TWIN CITIES...Seantrel!" It's pretty clear that Seantrel's parents aren't cut from the same mold as say, Bubba Paris's folks.

Speaking of large Africans...I'm sure by now you've heard about the pictures of Greg Oden that have surfaced on the Internet. Big O decided to send a picture of himself, naked, to a girl he was trying to bang. Now the photo has inevitably reached the web, and we're all welcome to take a peak at the flacid piece owned by a man who stand 7 feet tall. It's no shock to anyone that Oden is hung like Seabiscuit, but what is surprising to some people is that he would take a photo like this of himself. Me...I'm not surprised by that part. What surprises me is that, judging by his career thus far, he doesn't possess a 24 inch gash between his legs. Hey Greg...why don't you spend more time in the training room and less time taking pictures of whatever you call that thing between your legs?

The Super Bowl Hype Machine is in full swing, and I for one, am already SICK OF IT. I realize that Peyton Manning is from New Orleans, and his cocksucker for a Dad played for the Saints when they used to get beat like Brett Myers wife, but enough already! The game is in Miami, not New Orleans. This is more of a homecoming for REGGIE WAYNE (former Miami Hurricane) than it is for Peyton Manning. I'm willing to bet that CBS has about 8 hours of pre-game coverage devoted to the Manning back story, and I won't watch 2 seconds of it. I'd rather watch re-runs of Jersey Shores than see another clip of Archie tossing the pigskin around with Peyton, Eli, and Cooper.

That's all for today. Thanks for reading.